Ned played Jesus in a school assembly today, with the class thinking about the Body and Blood of Christ (as above in Latin), and how it came about from the Last Supper.
Ned was great - he spoke slowly and clearly, audible even when he had turned his back to the audience while he 'distributed' bread and wine, though he did fumble the glass at one point and nearly drop it - fortunately, it was empty! He also looked radiant in his gown and tea towel, borrowed from Dylan who had played Jesus on the previous two occasions and was seriously in danger of being type cast!!
I wonder how Ned's faith journey will turn out ? I hope he is more consistent than I am.
I am so proud of him - at the weekend we were in the North East of England (Yarm) for a 40th birthday party - a 500 mile round trip just to party! J&S are great friends and I love them. Ned and a couple of similar aged pals ran the bar in the garden: arranging glasses, distributing beers, opening wine, pouring drinks, checking stock in the paddling pool, clearing up. They loved it and did a fab job - it's great when kids are involved in a family do. Ned's dad was fetching him burgers, when not DJing, and it strikes me that we shared bread and wine together on Saturday night - a different sacrament perhaps, but not without its own meaning and significance.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Face to Faith
A coming together of YMCA people who dare to talk about God, faith, religious practice & non religious lifestyles.
A session about understanding the journey of others through faith to non-faith, belief or unbelief, & different faiths…….
It will not be about pursuing any one religious faith – but grappling with some issues which are considered to be vital for our age, our society and our community, and maybe the biggest issue facing the world at the moment is their own journey.
Outcomes:
i. Opening the minds of all individuals present.
ii. Understanding and Empathy with others in relation to their past experiences.
iii. Refreshing our understanding rather than developing opinions.
I attended this short course this afternoon. Absolutely brilliant. Moving.
Stories of growing up in the Ukraine, Nigeria, India, the UK.
Many different and similar views and experiences of faith (often referred to as religion). Lots of surprises, even shocks.
For instance - an account of a female relative sent to Siberia, for 10 years hard labour, for practicing faith in a 1930's Communist regime; or another, a man having to convert from one faith to another in order to get an education; or the teenager forced to leave home because of a choice to practice his faith; others about the hardship of growing up in working class England; of all our daily successes and struggles to find meaning in life, and to practice our faith.
Thank God for the diversity of the rainbow.
Belonging...
"... is what it means to be a family. If parents have encouraged initiative and growth to freedom, if children have been listened to and helped to make their own decisions, to accept and respect others, and to be open to them, if they have been taught to live the to-and-fro of life with others, these children will later on be able to live other forms of belonging and grow to maturity with greater ease. They will be more open to others because they will have lived trust and communion of hearts. "
Jean Vanier, Becoming Human
Pip has (of course!) found a quote that states my post below far more simply and in a lot less words!! Check out Pip's blog at: http://www.pipwilson.com/
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Attachment, loss and separation
Sorry for the break again - have had trouble signing in to my blog dashboard for some reason? Anyway, here now. Have started my new Counselling diploma with two days of teaching.
On the first day we looked at attachment theory and the ideas put forward by John Bowlby which, in essence, state how and why we form attachments (emotional bonds) to one other throughout our lives, and what happens if those attachments are inadequate or severed. These ideas fit within the psycho dynamic approach to counselling - i.e. our past affects our present.
By looking at attachments early in our (clients) lives Bowlby suggests that we can predict the way our relationships are formed later in life, the depth of the relationship, and how we behave in it. The key is to explore the ‘inner working model’ that has developed inside of us and evaluate the likely security, or lack of, in adult relationships (attachments).
Bowlby suggest that if we have a ‘secure base’ in childhood, provided by our mother (though other family members can do this too) then the chances of successful relationships / attachments are far greater. A secure base is defined as the provision of a secure and dependable base (home) for the child to explore the world.
We discussed the key concepts of loss and separation theory and completed an Adult Attachment Interview form to help us understand our attachment style and how this might impact our work with clients.
I was reminded of my insecurity around whether a partner loves me and an assumption (at worst) or fear (at best) that they will leave me.
John Bowlby states that the capacity for attachment is innate and shaped by experiences early in our lives. For instance, where a child’s mother is absent or does not form a secure and reliable bond then the child will grow up with a lack of trust, and a general inability to form stable, close relationships.
Thus my insecurity is routed in my birth mother giving me up at 8 weeks and being placed in two foster homes before being adopted at 8 months. Attachment theory does therefore make some sense of my two failed marriages and subsequent divorces.
I also remember some of the circumstances that led to my seeking therapy whereby I was in a dating relationship where I developed the following picture of myself. I saw myself with a piece of elastic tied around my waist and the other end tied to a stake which was firmly stuck in the ground. While I was stretching towards my partner the elastic would only extend so far before it would return to the stake – my default position of insecurity. Thus I had a tendency to “blow hot and cold” as my feelings bounced around on the elastic. I knew I had to cut the elastic to move forward and succeed in intimacy, or at least move the stake!
When I began therapy, about two and a half years ago, my narrative concerning my childhood tended to be highly accepting of the circumstances. I considered it normal as I didn’t know any other way. Most of us would feel the same, however, our 'normal' doesn't mean healthy.
On the first day we looked at attachment theory and the ideas put forward by John Bowlby which, in essence, state how and why we form attachments (emotional bonds) to one other throughout our lives, and what happens if those attachments are inadequate or severed. These ideas fit within the psycho dynamic approach to counselling - i.e. our past affects our present.
By looking at attachments early in our (clients) lives Bowlby suggests that we can predict the way our relationships are formed later in life, the depth of the relationship, and how we behave in it. The key is to explore the ‘inner working model’ that has developed inside of us and evaluate the likely security, or lack of, in adult relationships (attachments).
Bowlby suggest that if we have a ‘secure base’ in childhood, provided by our mother (though other family members can do this too) then the chances of successful relationships / attachments are far greater. A secure base is defined as the provision of a secure and dependable base (home) for the child to explore the world.
We discussed the key concepts of loss and separation theory and completed an Adult Attachment Interview form to help us understand our attachment style and how this might impact our work with clients.
I was reminded of my insecurity around whether a partner loves me and an assumption (at worst) or fear (at best) that they will leave me.
John Bowlby states that the capacity for attachment is innate and shaped by experiences early in our lives. For instance, where a child’s mother is absent or does not form a secure and reliable bond then the child will grow up with a lack of trust, and a general inability to form stable, close relationships.
Thus my insecurity is routed in my birth mother giving me up at 8 weeks and being placed in two foster homes before being adopted at 8 months. Attachment theory does therefore make some sense of my two failed marriages and subsequent divorces.
I also remember some of the circumstances that led to my seeking therapy whereby I was in a dating relationship where I developed the following picture of myself. I saw myself with a piece of elastic tied around my waist and the other end tied to a stake which was firmly stuck in the ground. While I was stretching towards my partner the elastic would only extend so far before it would return to the stake – my default position of insecurity. Thus I had a tendency to “blow hot and cold” as my feelings bounced around on the elastic. I knew I had to cut the elastic to move forward and succeed in intimacy, or at least move the stake!
When I began therapy, about two and a half years ago, my narrative concerning my childhood tended to be highly accepting of the circumstances. I considered it normal as I didn’t know any other way. Most of us would feel the same, however, our 'normal' doesn't mean healthy.
One worry for me is wondering what harm has been done to my son, Ned, aged nine, given he has spent most of his life in a sole parent home, though he still sees his mother. I think Bowlby provides some reassurance for me when he suggests that where other family members (this seems to pre-date single dads!) provide the child with a secure base in childhood then close relationships will be possible.
I realized in completing the questionnaire that the sadness and disappointment concerning my lack of a secure base run deep still. However, my understanding of attachment theory (and others) and how I would tend to behave or react, gives my hope for future relationships.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Man in the Mirror
Are you aware of the child in you? I have had some feedback concerning the little boy that appears in me sometimes.
Someone recently left a group that I belong to. Someone I had grown to care for. I was upset for them, for me. I wondered whether the little boy was crying out not to be left?
On the day they left I felt like I understood that the little boy might be present and that he might be feeling upset - this was very reassuring.
I have realised that I have high expectations of other men - perhaps because of my father not meeting my needs as a child, and perhaps the disappointment that remains with our relationship, or lack of it.
As the realisation came I was aware of a mirror held up before me. I could see how my inability to step up to the mark as a man, a husband and as a father in my marriage had contributed to the failure of the relationship.
That was a long time ago now. I am learning to understand myself and others and to communicate my thoughts and feelings clearly.
Perhaps I will be able to notice and listen to the little boy next time he shows up and find out what it is he needs?
Perhaps I will be less quick to judge men and impose my expectations upon them?
Someone recently left a group that I belong to. Someone I had grown to care for. I was upset for them, for me. I wondered whether the little boy was crying out not to be left?
On the day they left I felt like I understood that the little boy might be present and that he might be feeling upset - this was very reassuring.
I have realised that I have high expectations of other men - perhaps because of my father not meeting my needs as a child, and perhaps the disappointment that remains with our relationship, or lack of it.
As the realisation came I was aware of a mirror held up before me. I could see how my inability to step up to the mark as a man, a husband and as a father in my marriage had contributed to the failure of the relationship.
That was a long time ago now. I am learning to understand myself and others and to communicate my thoughts and feelings clearly.
Perhaps I will be able to notice and listen to the little boy next time he shows up and find out what it is he needs?
Perhaps I will be less quick to judge men and impose my expectations upon them?
Next steps
My Certificate course in Counselling and Communication has finished and I appear to have passed with flying colours. The Counselling Centre are encouraging me to continue study immediately.
Moreover, the Director has expressed a commitment to mentoring me through the Diploma course, not only because they have a desperate need for male Christian professionals in a climate where the issues arising are becoming 'worse', but because they feel that my background, ministry experience and ethics all warrant the time and effort. They want me to succeed. The feedback has been most encouraging, but also a bit daunting!
I will have to knuckle down and get stuck into further reading and commit a lot of my time to this, which I am willing to do. The fees are high to continue study and all in all, with at least a Saturday a month in tutoring, it's a lot to juggle. It's kinda scary too because I don't take to academic study easily and will have a little catching up to do on top of other commitments.
It's the right way ahead though.
I recall the time in the autumn of 2001 when I was totally washed up - no home, temporary job, broken marriage, single dad, no ministry etc etc. God said to me "I am working in the first half of your life to prepare you for what I will do in the second". And here we are, an apparently scrap-heap-human now with a sense of purpose and of significance.
The feeling is much more than phew! It's much deeper. I really feel, as crap as it's been at times, that I would not be on any other journey. As I write I am also reflecting that the YMCA are supporting me through this with some finance and time. The Centre are also investing in me. In me. In ME!
Next steps.... gulp!
Moreover, the Director has expressed a commitment to mentoring me through the Diploma course, not only because they have a desperate need for male Christian professionals in a climate where the issues arising are becoming 'worse', but because they feel that my background, ministry experience and ethics all warrant the time and effort. They want me to succeed. The feedback has been most encouraging, but also a bit daunting!
I will have to knuckle down and get stuck into further reading and commit a lot of my time to this, which I am willing to do. The fees are high to continue study and all in all, with at least a Saturday a month in tutoring, it's a lot to juggle. It's kinda scary too because I don't take to academic study easily and will have a little catching up to do on top of other commitments.
It's the right way ahead though.
I recall the time in the autumn of 2001 when I was totally washed up - no home, temporary job, broken marriage, single dad, no ministry etc etc. God said to me "I am working in the first half of your life to prepare you for what I will do in the second". And here we are, an apparently scrap-heap-human now with a sense of purpose and of significance.
The feeling is much more than phew! It's much deeper. I really feel, as crap as it's been at times, that I would not be on any other journey. As I write I am also reflecting that the YMCA are supporting me through this with some finance and time. The Centre are also investing in me. In me. In ME!
Next steps.... gulp!
Monday, April 02, 2007
Dream on
Had a very strange experience Saturday night. I stirred about two o'clock and remained in a semi-conscious state for well over an hour, being aware of the clock every now and then.
In that time I tossed and turned in bed as my life ran through my mind like an edited movie / documentary. I realised that I was scanning - the search criteria was to find people with whom I could recall an intimate, loving, secure relationship. The answer: none found.
I was tempted to call it a nightmare however those always have a sense of unreality about them. This seemed factual - real and disturbing.
In that time I tossed and turned in bed as my life ran through my mind like an edited movie / documentary. I realised that I was scanning - the search criteria was to find people with whom I could recall an intimate, loving, secure relationship. The answer: none found.
I was tempted to call it a nightmare however those always have a sense of unreality about them. This seemed factual - real and disturbing.
Monday, March 05, 2007
God help me
Heard it said today, "God helps those who help themselves".
I don't agree.
So, my prayer for today is for:
I don't agree.
So, my prayer for today is for:
Those kidnapped into the sex traffic industry.
Every villager whose home has been destroyed by war or natural disaster.
Women raped by occupying forces.
Prisoners tortured for political aims.
The silent voice of abused children.
Parents who cannot feed their sons and daughters.
Orphans of HIV.
Mothers-to-be who had a miscarriage this week.
Workers exploited by their employers.
Those enslaved by addiction.
Me to get off my backside and make a difference…somehow.
God help me to help those who can't help themselves.
Amen.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Glass-half-full guy today
Hi y'all
Hope you're having a good week. Pleased to be back to regular blogging, if not frequent!
Still thinking about 'peripheral' - see blog 6/2/07.
I am wondering how far being on the periphery is a personal decision for an adult? For me? Is feeling peripheral a glass-half-empty-response on my part? One that fails to be proactive, take initiative, and find a place of acceptance, even if that is only with myself?
Maybe that has come about without my realising it. Perhaps the view from the boundary is all I've known and I therefore don't step onto the pitch. But, I'm getting bored watching the game. Want to be fully involved.
Anyway, I have choice, right? Choice to change. Affect change. Set the course of direction. Determine the pace. Select my outfit for the journey even!
Talking of which, I am going to the North East this evening, (via Oxford to drop Ned at his mum's!) for a conference Friday / Saturday in a large church , related to my Psychotherapy training. Looking forward to what God is going to do for the church, for me, and the benefit to my training.
Staying with good friends in Yarm for the weekend so will have a lot of fun, bar the driving, though will have some grooves and soulful melodies to accompany me! Long run in my new car too.
So, feeling like I'm a glass-half-full guy today. This week. Taking control. Making positive choices. Taking risks. Speaking up. Stepping out of my comfort zone. Feels good...if not a tad scary!
Hope you're having a good week. Pleased to be back to regular blogging, if not frequent!
Still thinking about 'peripheral' - see blog 6/2/07.
I am wondering how far being on the periphery is a personal decision for an adult? For me? Is feeling peripheral a glass-half-empty-response on my part? One that fails to be proactive, take initiative, and find a place of acceptance, even if that is only with myself?
Maybe that has come about without my realising it. Perhaps the view from the boundary is all I've known and I therefore don't step onto the pitch. But, I'm getting bored watching the game. Want to be fully involved.
Anyway, I have choice, right? Choice to change. Affect change. Set the course of direction. Determine the pace. Select my outfit for the journey even!
Talking of which, I am going to the North East this evening, (via Oxford to drop Ned at his mum's!) for a conference Friday / Saturday in a large church , related to my Psychotherapy training. Looking forward to what God is going to do for the church, for me, and the benefit to my training.
Staying with good friends in Yarm for the weekend so will have a lot of fun, bar the driving, though will have some grooves and soulful melodies to accompany me! Long run in my new car too.
So, feeling like I'm a glass-half-full guy today. This week. Taking control. Making positive choices. Taking risks. Speaking up. Stepping out of my comfort zone. Feels good...if not a tad scary!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Stories: You don't know you are born
My colleague was telling me today about the above ITV show today shown recently. Celebrities uncover their family's heritage and reveal the social history of the time as they explore the road they might have travelled themselves if their lives hadn't taken them into the world of show business.
Ray, who is nearing retirement after years of dedicated service to the YMCA, related the episode with Ken Stott (I think?) who pushed a plough around a field as his grandfather would have done day after day to earn a crust.
We related stories of our own grandparents and how the young people we serve in hostels have such different expectations of work today. I can't help thinking of the Monty Python sketch - "I got up this morning, before I went to bed... licked road clean...etc !!!
I do feel humbled that we do not really appreciate how generations before us have had to strive and struggle to exist, probably dying younger too.
My maternal grandparents, who have been dead 11 or more years, were entrepreneurs and grew from a corner shop to become the national mail order seed merchant Marshall's, eventually sold to a much larger firm. My auntie was pictured pushing a wheel barrow on the front cover of the seed packages.
Nan was a single parent for a few years when her husband, Moat, died suddenly. Their daughter was 12 or 13, but it didn't stop her adopting a baby girl as they had planned to do together. During the war she drove trains in Norfolk, to move essential goods around. She had plenty of tales of toil to meet deadlines and all the other problems of trying to run a small business. I used to listen to her for hours. She remembered the announcement of the first world war on the radio. I recall laughing how in Bungay, Suffolk, where she grew up, she would have to run errands to take messages for her mother because there weren't telephones (let alone mobiles!). So different to today.
Ethel was a great woman. Strong in heart and mind until the end, though her body lost to cancer, and her daughter had cut herself off from her for the remaining six years of her life, together with her other grandson. During that period she also nursed her husband with Alzeihmer's. Alone.
I miss my Nan and know she would have loved to see me now and to know her great-grandson.
I was the last to see her alive in hospital and it was a privilege to talk to her in her coma, say how I felt, pray over her, read her (trashy romantic) library book to her and share a joke about why on earth she was in to that stuff?!
I look forward to an answer when we next meet....
Ray, who is nearing retirement after years of dedicated service to the YMCA, related the episode with Ken Stott (I think?) who pushed a plough around a field as his grandfather would have done day after day to earn a crust.
We related stories of our own grandparents and how the young people we serve in hostels have such different expectations of work today. I can't help thinking of the Monty Python sketch - "I got up this morning, before I went to bed... licked road clean...etc !!!
I do feel humbled that we do not really appreciate how generations before us have had to strive and struggle to exist, probably dying younger too.
My maternal grandparents, who have been dead 11 or more years, were entrepreneurs and grew from a corner shop to become the national mail order seed merchant Marshall's, eventually sold to a much larger firm. My auntie was pictured pushing a wheel barrow on the front cover of the seed packages.
Nan was a single parent for a few years when her husband, Moat, died suddenly. Their daughter was 12 or 13, but it didn't stop her adopting a baby girl as they had planned to do together. During the war she drove trains in Norfolk, to move essential goods around. She had plenty of tales of toil to meet deadlines and all the other problems of trying to run a small business. I used to listen to her for hours. She remembered the announcement of the first world war on the radio. I recall laughing how in Bungay, Suffolk, where she grew up, she would have to run errands to take messages for her mother because there weren't telephones (let alone mobiles!). So different to today.
Ethel was a great woman. Strong in heart and mind until the end, though her body lost to cancer, and her daughter had cut herself off from her for the remaining six years of her life, together with her other grandson. During that period she also nursed her husband with Alzeihmer's. Alone.
I miss my Nan and know she would have loved to see me now and to know her great-grandson.
I was the last to see her alive in hospital and it was a privilege to talk to her in her coma, say how I felt, pray over her, read her (trashy romantic) library book to her and share a joke about why on earth she was in to that stuff?!
I look forward to an answer when we next meet....
Stories of who we are
Have snatched this from Pip (pipwilsonbhp.blogspot.com) as I love it in the light of my blog below.
"Maybe nothing is more important than that we keep track, you and I, of these stories of who we are and where we have come from and the people we have met along the way because it is precisely through these stories in all their particularity . . . that God makes himself known to each of us most powerfully and personally.”
Frederick Buechner (Telling Secrets, 1991)
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Disappointments
Been having some deep, deep feelings lately about disappointments in my life. Some of them recent, some from years ago, some (I think) from before I can actually remember. Unlocking them is painful.
Counselling is often (for me) about taking me to where I least want to go, because it can be so painful to take the lid off the can. But... no pain, no gain - so true.
I am trying not to stay on the periphery of my feelings but stay with them and understand them. I am grateful for those who help me in the process, and on the journey, although it can feel like, at best, I am squirming on the end of a hook or, at worst, being machine gunned!
I have been introduced to the thought that we should grieve for that which has disappointed us in life. Some of this is obvious, like the hurt and unfulfilled expectations of a broken relationship / marriage. Other areas are less obvious....
I don't think this means moping around feeling sorry for ourselves, or inventing disappointments when, as we well know, shit happens, but it is, I believe, helpful to acknowledge and understand feelings rather than let them fester and become 'cancerous' and eat away at us. To coin another phrase: better out than in!
I hope you have good friends. People you can really be honest with and share your deepest stuff. Friends that will listen and not try to answer lifes riddles for you, but just be with you and love you.
I have some and I feel so blessed not to be on the journey alone x
Counselling is often (for me) about taking me to where I least want to go, because it can be so painful to take the lid off the can. But... no pain, no gain - so true.
I am trying not to stay on the periphery of my feelings but stay with them and understand them. I am grateful for those who help me in the process, and on the journey, although it can feel like, at best, I am squirming on the end of a hook or, at worst, being machine gunned!
I have been introduced to the thought that we should grieve for that which has disappointed us in life. Some of this is obvious, like the hurt and unfulfilled expectations of a broken relationship / marriage. Other areas are less obvious....
I don't think this means moping around feeling sorry for ourselves, or inventing disappointments when, as we well know, shit happens, but it is, I believe, helpful to acknowledge and understand feelings rather than let them fester and become 'cancerous' and eat away at us. To coin another phrase: better out than in!
I hope you have good friends. People you can really be honest with and share your deepest stuff. Friends that will listen and not try to answer lifes riddles for you, but just be with you and love you.
I have some and I feel so blessed not to be on the journey alone x
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Peripheral
Do you ever feel, like me, peripheral?
Meaning:
[1] relating to or situated on the periphery, i.e. the edge or boundary. [2] of secondary importance; marginal, of minor relevance. Concerned with the relatively minor, irrelevant, or superficial aspects of the subject in question.
The subject in question might be family, or relationships generally? May be common to those adopted? Or perhaps you feel peripheral in other ways?
Even if I feel that.... is it true? Am I of secondary importance? Of minor relevance or even irrelevant?
No. It's a lie.
It may be the way I have grown up thinking like this, even if in tiny, subtle ways.
Do like me - make a list and note down when it sometimes feels like it's true, and the other times when clearly it is not. Does the list balance? What can you discern? I found that sometimes I may feel like that, but it doesn't mean I am.
Sounds like the bleeding obvious eh? Not for everyone!!!
Meaning:
[1] relating to or situated on the periphery, i.e. the edge or boundary. [2] of secondary importance; marginal, of minor relevance. Concerned with the relatively minor, irrelevant, or superficial aspects of the subject in question.
The subject in question might be family, or relationships generally? May be common to those adopted? Or perhaps you feel peripheral in other ways?
Even if I feel that.... is it true? Am I of secondary importance? Of minor relevance or even irrelevant?
No. It's a lie.
It may be the way I have grown up thinking like this, even if in tiny, subtle ways.
Do like me - make a list and note down when it sometimes feels like it's true, and the other times when clearly it is not. Does the list balance? What can you discern? I found that sometimes I may feel like that, but it doesn't mean I am.
Sounds like the bleeding obvious eh? Not for everyone!!!
Monday, January 29, 2007
I'm back ....
Oh, it's a mad mad mad mad world. Feeling invigorated today. Happy New Year!
Had a fab weekend partying at the joint 40th birthday do of my most excellent friends Ian & Amanda out in the wilds of Wiltshire. Caught up with guys I hadn't seen for years and met some lovely people too.
Picked up a new, second hand car on Friday and enjoyed driving it. It's got all the wing mirrors, no dents, doesn't appear to leak and all the doors open (and lock!) as they should. Welcome Freddie Focus to the family. Still Ned and I did rue the demise of Larry Laguna who has served us faithfully for 10 years and 80,000 miles. Ned particularly was genuinely grieving the change, being the only car we have had in his lifetime - many happy memories, and some throwing up on long journeys!
So... where have I been for 9 weeks? Well, most of December Ned and I were in New Zealand visiting friends and exploring the North Island - what a beautiful place. Flew into Auckland on 12th then off on a whirlwind adventure: Hahei, Coromandel Peninsular, Rotorua, Taupo, Turangi, back to Auckland for Christmas, then to Russell in the Bay of Islands.
We fished on Lake Rotorua and the Pacific, quad-biked on a mountain, rafted on the Tongariro River, walked to the Huka Falls, swam in thermal pools, built huge sandcastles on white sandy beaches, snorkeled and swam in the ocean, kayaked in the Bay of Plenty, enjoyed Maori experiences, basked in glorious sunshine but also were soaked by driving rain. All good! NZ does resemble all the good of Middle Earth in LOTR and even the worst of Mordor with the volcanic impact in certain spots - beautiful. I cannot recall when we were unable to see a mountain. We met some old friends from the UK and made some new ones. Thanks to Chris & Annie, Mike & Kirsti for their hospitality.
The same applied to our stop over on the way in Singapore - thanks to Jan & Caroline - who showed us around: dragon boat racing, cable cars, beaches, foot massage, local cuisine, downhill luge at Sentosa. Marvellous. We also attended the British Cubs' Football Section Christmas Party with traditional British fare - curry! - and, while waiting to eat, felt a tap on the shoulder and was greeted by old friends - fab surprise - lovely to see Andy & Jayne.
So, life feels good today. Not without it's ups and downs however, some of which I will share in the days ahead. Hope you are surviving and thriving. Thanks for reading x
Had a fab weekend partying at the joint 40th birthday do of my most excellent friends Ian & Amanda out in the wilds of Wiltshire. Caught up with guys I hadn't seen for years and met some lovely people too.
Picked up a new, second hand car on Friday and enjoyed driving it. It's got all the wing mirrors, no dents, doesn't appear to leak and all the doors open (and lock!) as they should. Welcome Freddie Focus to the family. Still Ned and I did rue the demise of Larry Laguna who has served us faithfully for 10 years and 80,000 miles. Ned particularly was genuinely grieving the change, being the only car we have had in his lifetime - many happy memories, and some throwing up on long journeys!
So... where have I been for 9 weeks? Well, most of December Ned and I were in New Zealand visiting friends and exploring the North Island - what a beautiful place. Flew into Auckland on 12th then off on a whirlwind adventure: Hahei, Coromandel Peninsular, Rotorua, Taupo, Turangi, back to Auckland for Christmas, then to Russell in the Bay of Islands.
We fished on Lake Rotorua and the Pacific, quad-biked on a mountain, rafted on the Tongariro River, walked to the Huka Falls, swam in thermal pools, built huge sandcastles on white sandy beaches, snorkeled and swam in the ocean, kayaked in the Bay of Plenty, enjoyed Maori experiences, basked in glorious sunshine but also were soaked by driving rain. All good! NZ does resemble all the good of Middle Earth in LOTR and even the worst of Mordor with the volcanic impact in certain spots - beautiful. I cannot recall when we were unable to see a mountain. We met some old friends from the UK and made some new ones. Thanks to Chris & Annie, Mike & Kirsti for their hospitality.
The same applied to our stop over on the way in Singapore - thanks to Jan & Caroline - who showed us around: dragon boat racing, cable cars, beaches, foot massage, local cuisine, downhill luge at Sentosa. Marvellous. We also attended the British Cubs' Football Section Christmas Party with traditional British fare - curry! - and, while waiting to eat, felt a tap on the shoulder and was greeted by old friends - fab surprise - lovely to see Andy & Jayne.
So, life feels good today. Not without it's ups and downs however, some of which I will share in the days ahead. Hope you are surviving and thriving. Thanks for reading x
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Stepping up, stepping down
Hi Guys
Been really busy. Work and play. Scored a cracking header last Friday night to win the game. Leapt, on the turn, twisted headed down, sending the keeper the wrong way to tuck the ball into the corner. Not bad as it was a 5-a-side goal!
Was running a team of guys providing refreshments for 285 women at a conference on Saturday - lots of fun. Great team so everything ran really smoothly. Long day though, 7.30 to about 5.30.
I was DJ at my friends wedding a few weeks back and they popped in on Tuesday with a present. I thought it would be a CD or something but they bought me a dress watch! I was quite oversome with their generosity. I did however change it yesterday to something more appropriate for everyday wear. So I now have a watch I rally like but couldn't have afforded myself. Haven't worn one for 7/8 years since the last one broke. Oh, it's 9.35 !!!
Dinner with friends on Saturday evening (great curry L) and a family on Sunday at a fav restaurant in Ealing: prawns, ribs, skins, nachos, wings, Peroni, hmmmmm...
Have resigned from a Trust with which I've been involved for four years. I feel drawn in another direction and convinced that I have been doing too many things and not being fully effective in any of them.
It has been both difficult and exciting for me over the years to help get something started (in various ways with different ventures) as I still find it hard to step away, however the work has usually benefited from my absence by going on to greater things! Strange that I should find this so hard with stuff I am involved in 'privately' when this is so much a part of my professional role?
However, the Board has asked me to continue to as a mentor to one of the key staff so I am delighted about that. They met last night - it was odd not to be there - felt like I was bunking off!!
Getting on really well with Ned right now. He asked to share something with me recently and the way he sat me down on the sofa was brilliant! Level 5 ensued and he ended by thanking me for my advice. I stated (for the record) that I might not always be able to give advice, as I might not know what to do, but would always be there to listen and support him. I loved the moment. I love being a dad.
He will be at Buckingham Palace tomorrow with his mum who is receiving a medal for services to our Government and country. I hope they have a great day.
So, a bunch of random thoughts. Gonna try 5 words now to describe how I am feeling:
Weary
Eager
Light headed
Apprehensive
Hopeful
Have an afternoons training today as I continue my Certificate in Communication and Counselling skills - looking forward to it but the course is always challenging and I think we may be looking at my journal which I submitted last time. Gulp! "What's mine is yours, still want to know me?"
"Oh thou who lovest me, set love in order in my life" Augustine. TTFN xx
Been really busy. Work and play. Scored a cracking header last Friday night to win the game. Leapt, on the turn, twisted headed down, sending the keeper the wrong way to tuck the ball into the corner. Not bad as it was a 5-a-side goal!
Was running a team of guys providing refreshments for 285 women at a conference on Saturday - lots of fun. Great team so everything ran really smoothly. Long day though, 7.30 to about 5.30.
I was DJ at my friends wedding a few weeks back and they popped in on Tuesday with a present. I thought it would be a CD or something but they bought me a dress watch! I was quite oversome with their generosity. I did however change it yesterday to something more appropriate for everyday wear. So I now have a watch I rally like but couldn't have afforded myself. Haven't worn one for 7/8 years since the last one broke. Oh, it's 9.35 !!!
Dinner with friends on Saturday evening (great curry L) and a family on Sunday at a fav restaurant in Ealing: prawns, ribs, skins, nachos, wings, Peroni, hmmmmm...
Have resigned from a Trust with which I've been involved for four years. I feel drawn in another direction and convinced that I have been doing too many things and not being fully effective in any of them.
It has been both difficult and exciting for me over the years to help get something started (in various ways with different ventures) as I still find it hard to step away, however the work has usually benefited from my absence by going on to greater things! Strange that I should find this so hard with stuff I am involved in 'privately' when this is so much a part of my professional role?
However, the Board has asked me to continue to as a mentor to one of the key staff so I am delighted about that. They met last night - it was odd not to be there - felt like I was bunking off!!
Getting on really well with Ned right now. He asked to share something with me recently and the way he sat me down on the sofa was brilliant! Level 5 ensued and he ended by thanking me for my advice. I stated (for the record) that I might not always be able to give advice, as I might not know what to do, but would always be there to listen and support him. I loved the moment. I love being a dad.
He will be at Buckingham Palace tomorrow with his mum who is receiving a medal for services to our Government and country. I hope they have a great day.
So, a bunch of random thoughts. Gonna try 5 words now to describe how I am feeling:
Weary
Eager
Light headed
Apprehensive
Hopeful
Have an afternoons training today as I continue my Certificate in Communication and Counselling skills - looking forward to it but the course is always challenging and I think we may be looking at my journal which I submitted last time. Gulp! "What's mine is yours, still want to know me?"
"Oh thou who lovest me, set love in order in my life" Augustine. TTFN xx
Oh my word!
Another football quote: Stuart Pearce, Manager of Man City FC:
"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel!"
"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel!"
Monday, November 06, 2006
The genius of the TV commentator
Thanks to my good friend Mohamad Al Bazzer for sending these which are mostly concern the noble Olympian sports of Snooker & Darts:
"Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah, Bristow."
"Jockey Wilson . . . What an athlete."
"That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!"
"He's about as predictable as a wasp on speed"
"Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter"
"The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips.......you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them"
"Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy."
"It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline"
"Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out"
"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."
"He's as cool as a prized marrow!"
"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."
"That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank"
"As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here."
"He is as slick as minestrone soup"
"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"
"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
"There's only one word for that - magic darts!"
"Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!"
"I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow"
"Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles"
"Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax."
"If you're round your auntie's tonight, tell her to stop making the cookies and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other"
"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow's only 27."
"Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex."
"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home."
"He's playing out of his pie crust."
"They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!"
"Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength."
"Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!"
"Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!"
"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"
"I've got two words for you - former world champion."
"This is his last Tango in Paris... and now it's goodnight Vienna."
"Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah, Bristow."
"Jockey Wilson . . . What an athlete."
"That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!"
"He's about as predictable as a wasp on speed"
"Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter"
"The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips.......you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them"
"Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy."
"It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline"
"Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out"
"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."
"He's as cool as a prized marrow!"
"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."
"That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank"
"As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here."
"He is as slick as minestrone soup"
"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"
"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
"There's only one word for that - magic darts!"
"Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!"
"I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow"
"Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles"
"Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax."
"If you're round your auntie's tonight, tell her to stop making the cookies and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other"
"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow's only 27."
"Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex."
"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home."
"He's playing out of his pie crust."
"They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!"
"Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength."
"Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!"
"Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!"
"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"
"I've got two words for you - former world champion."
"This is his last Tango in Paris... and now it's goodnight Vienna."
Monday, October 30, 2006
The Yacoubian Building
I went to see this on Saturday with a couple of friends who both had worked in Egypt as tour leaders. The film is based on the controversial bestselling novel by Alaa El-Aswani that features a variety of Egyptian characters who are residents of a downtown Cairo apartment block - lawyer, porter, gay journalist and poorer families who literally live on the roof, etc. The lives of these seemingly disparate group of individuals hurtle towards each other with fateful consequences. Tackling everything from Islamic fundamentalism to homosexuality and corruption, the film was a cause célèbre on its release in Egypt where it proceeded to smash box office records and spark unprecedented debate.
One critic wrote: I do not lie when I say I am still drowning in thoughts about the most beautiful movie I have to date seen. My God. I was emotionally exhausted, beyond impressed, made to laugh, cry, ponder, miss, sympathize, resent, and love.. all within minutes of each other. A slap in the face than a tickle. I don’t mean to be overly dramatic but the impact it has on me is enormous. I am overwhelmed with feelings of appreciation, joy, and respect for such a work and admire the boldness and courage it took to pull all of it together. What an eye opener. The accuracy.. The contrast.. The shocks..
This is a great movie, described very ably above, and wonderfully translated through subtitles for those of us who speak neither Arabic nor Egyptian!
The film was shown as part of the BFI's London Film Festival at the Odeon Leicester Square - this was the debut in the UK with the Director (only 27 years old) and Producer present for an audience Q&A afterwards. See the film if you can.
One critic wrote: I do not lie when I say I am still drowning in thoughts about the most beautiful movie I have to date seen. My God. I was emotionally exhausted, beyond impressed, made to laugh, cry, ponder, miss, sympathize, resent, and love.. all within minutes of each other. A slap in the face than a tickle. I don’t mean to be overly dramatic but the impact it has on me is enormous. I am overwhelmed with feelings of appreciation, joy, and respect for such a work and admire the boldness and courage it took to pull all of it together. What an eye opener. The accuracy.. The contrast.. The shocks..
This is a great movie, described very ably above, and wonderfully translated through subtitles for those of us who speak neither Arabic nor Egyptian!
The film was shown as part of the BFI's London Film Festival at the Odeon Leicester Square - this was the debut in the UK with the Director (only 27 years old) and Producer present for an audience Q&A afterwards. See the film if you can.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Doing the right thing
Was just checking my bank account on-line and a pop up screen asked "Do you like Tony Blair: yes or no? Enter and get a Free* laptop."
Did you notice the fundamental flaw in the last line?
Yes, indeed, it is the asterisk after free - don't believe it!!
I heard Jim Wallis over the Bank Holiday weekend talking at a seminar called "you say tomata, I say tomato" about the 'special relationship'. In fact he spoke more frankly than the answer he had given to a question I raised with him at the Institute of Contemporary Christianity in March. Jim felt that Britain's role in support of the US intentions for Iraq meant that the world perception of the UK is the we are seen as a little tomata - I have to agree.
I heard a speaker recently talking about terrorism for around 45 minutes. I heard him in August as well at two seminars totalling three hours: Major General Tim Cross. Check out his CV online - he is a most distinguished and humble man. His seminars, on the same topic, were the most articulate I have heard on any subject, anytime, anywhere. He was speaking just after the media storm over comments on the Iraq situation made by General Sir Richard Dannatt, the new Chief of the General Staff. Reading reaction to his statement on the military websites, our armed forces seem delighted to be appropriately represented at last, indeed positive comments were posted from around the world to the newspaper websites.
The media is turning its attention to the election of the next US President - we know it won't be Bush. Meanwhile I have a horrible feeling that Blair is not going to do anything significant over Iraq that would undermine his initial decision to support the invasion, but will leave that to his predecessor. We will see.
Hilary Benn was incredible on Radio Four this morning as John Humphries interviewed him from Iraq about the state of that nation. He quite reasonably and frankly gave an honest, real and believable picture of the grim situation, without the glib spin.
Shortly afterwards Canon Andrew White based in Baghdad described how he had just returned from the Pentagon where he was discussing how the key religious / sectarian leaders might be engaged in dialogue - he rightly and bluntly stated that it was years too late for the US to have woken up to that, despite his best efforts at the time.
I spotted this quote today - rings true I think:
We should never have gone in to Iraq in my view. Tim Cross's analogy, incidentally quoted by Max Hastings in the Daily Mail, compares President Bush's recent demand for $50billion of new money for Iraq with 'the addicted Irish gambler who wrote home at the end of another long day at the race course, "Everything going well; send more money".'
How we get out and when, I don't know. With guys like Dannatt, Cross, White and Benn around I have hope that the future may be a bit brighter for all concerned, especially the people of Iraq.
We can only pray.
Did you notice the fundamental flaw in the last line?
Yes, indeed, it is the asterisk after free - don't believe it!!
I heard Jim Wallis over the Bank Holiday weekend talking at a seminar called "you say tomata, I say tomato" about the 'special relationship'. In fact he spoke more frankly than the answer he had given to a question I raised with him at the Institute of Contemporary Christianity in March. Jim felt that Britain's role in support of the US intentions for Iraq meant that the world perception of the UK is the we are seen as a little tomata - I have to agree.
I heard a speaker recently talking about terrorism for around 45 minutes. I heard him in August as well at two seminars totalling three hours: Major General Tim Cross. Check out his CV online - he is a most distinguished and humble man. His seminars, on the same topic, were the most articulate I have heard on any subject, anytime, anywhere. He was speaking just after the media storm over comments on the Iraq situation made by General Sir Richard Dannatt, the new Chief of the General Staff. Reading reaction to his statement on the military websites, our armed forces seem delighted to be appropriately represented at last, indeed positive comments were posted from around the world to the newspaper websites.
The media is turning its attention to the election of the next US President - we know it won't be Bush. Meanwhile I have a horrible feeling that Blair is not going to do anything significant over Iraq that would undermine his initial decision to support the invasion, but will leave that to his predecessor. We will see.
Hilary Benn was incredible on Radio Four this morning as John Humphries interviewed him from Iraq about the state of that nation. He quite reasonably and frankly gave an honest, real and believable picture of the grim situation, without the glib spin.
Shortly afterwards Canon Andrew White based in Baghdad described how he had just returned from the Pentagon where he was discussing how the key religious / sectarian leaders might be engaged in dialogue - he rightly and bluntly stated that it was years too late for the US to have woken up to that, despite his best efforts at the time.
I spotted this quote today - rings true I think:
Politics is a jungle: torn between doing the right thing and staying in office. John F. Kennedy
We should never have gone in to Iraq in my view. Tim Cross's analogy, incidentally quoted by Max Hastings in the Daily Mail, compares President Bush's recent demand for $50billion of new money for Iraq with 'the addicted Irish gambler who wrote home at the end of another long day at the race course, "Everything going well; send more money".'
How we get out and when, I don't know. With guys like Dannatt, Cross, White and Benn around I have hope that the future may be a bit brighter for all concerned, especially the people of Iraq.
We can only pray.
Freedom...
Saw this quote from a movie (Ali*brandi) - don't know the context but liked it:
If I could be anything but what I am, I would be tomorrow.
If I could be what my father wants me to be, then maybe I could stay for that, too. If I could be what you want me to be, I'd want to stay. But I am what I am, and all I want is freedom.
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